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Tuesday, 12-11-07

2002 - Some man tells President Bush Jr. something important about the War on Terrors, but he doesn’t specifically tell him that it’s something he needs to pay attention to in case people want to ask his people about it in a couple of years, so he just says, “Go ask Cheney.”

4

Wednesday, 12-5-07

1757 - Early American inventor Jebediah Chote unveils an apple coring machine with a patented safety feature that prevents it from severing more than one finger at a time. 

4

Sunday, 11-25-07

1435 - To tighten his embargo over the village of Swont, King Eldward IV declares the rutted path to the market square a “no-trod zone.”

4

Wednesday, 11-14-07

1768 - The Marquis de Guillagne, prefect of Region Bernaise, offers a reward to the first man who can disprove the syllogism, “People who never wash smell bad. The Marquis de Guillagne smells bad. The Marquis de Guillagne smells bad because he never washes.”

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Sunday, 11-4-07

9pm: In The Head of… - In tonight’s installment, master interviewer Loockma Nohands gets into the head of magician David Copperfield. Topics include whether the lady is really sawed in half and how accusations of sexual assault have further confused public perceptions of his sexuality.

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Sunday, 10-28-07

2003 - Sharla Bomner, a Best Buy cashier in Scranton, PA, offers a customer a $17 service contract on a $32 toaster and closes the deal. 

4

Sunday, 10-21-07

1623 - Queen Belladonna of Portugal decrees that all male subjects must wear left on the sabbath. 

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