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Wednesday, 11-28-07

The mileage between your point of departure to your location where you realize you forgot something there is known as the Flautter Distance, after Marcie Flautter, who was slightly over one third of the way home from her parents’ place in Florida when she called from a payphone requesting that they just mail the twins home C.O.D.

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Sunday, 11-18-07

Among the many ways to skin a cat, no one way has emerged as the cats’ favorite.

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Saturday, 10-13-07

Neuroscientists have been unable to prove that obsessing about the personal life of Britney Spears leads to cell death in the cerebral cortex.

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Saturday, 10-6-07

Nutrition experts say that drinking sports drinks after strenuous activity, such as walking from the parking lot at work to your desk, is critical to replenish your body’s supply of red 40 and blue 1. 

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Monday, 9-24-07

After I posted a teary rant on YouTube defending Phil Spector as a misunderstood firearms enthusiast, I failed to receive a single offer for a TV deal. 

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Tuesday, 9-11-07

Despite his professed disdain for all Western culture, Osama bin Laden is an avid NASCAR fan.
Thanks to Sheik Zawihiri for that tidbit, even if it did require a little “rough questioning” to elicit it. 

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Tuesday, 9-4-07

Reader Jerry Mulgrew, of Landgrab, TX, reports that he has traveled extensively for work over the last five years and has yet to be propositioned by a United States senator in an airport bathroom. Thanks for letting us know, Jerry!

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