Saturday, 4-14-07

SWELPERVILLE, NJ - An illicit sexual encounter between baseball team mascots turned violent when one of the participants realized his counterpart was not a human in an animal suit.

The victim, who declined to give his name, was the mascot for the Blandton Penguins, of the Eastern Coast League. The Penguins recently played the Swelperville Brahma Bulls, whose mascot, Howard, is a purebred three-year-old bull weighing 1700 pounds. The incident occurred under the bleachers during the fifth inning of that game.

The victim, whose injuries were largely psychological, has resigned as Blandton’s mascot. A team representative said no decision will be made about replacing him until after it is determined whether the stains can be removed from the penguin costume.