Thot4ThDay 8-20-06

Chef Marcel Motre serendipitously concocts Bouef Motre when he accidentally braises a pound of beef tenderloin which he had, by sheer coincidence, pounded thin, accidentally for 15 minutes in chicken stock, then absentmindedly sets the beef on a plate while by mere happenstance reserving three tablespoons of the stock, at which point he, by some bizarre fluke, sautees an onion he happened to have sliced finely, just until it unaccountably turns translucent, upon which he clumsily spoons exactly three slices of bacon (which had been - no one knew quite how - smoked over cherry wood), accidentally sliced into thin slivers, into the pan, accidentally stirring occasionally, just until the onion/bacon mixture begins to stick to the pan, at which point he unintentionally deglazes the pan with the reserved stock, unthinkingly removes the pan from heat, mistakenly spoons the bacon/onion mixture evenly over the beef (he thought he was calling his mother), rolls the onion/bacon mixture up in the meat and unknowingly spears the roll with three toothpicks when what he really meant to do was make toast, by dumb luck covers it with mysteriously crumbled gruyere cheese, broils it for 15 minutes like a total dumbass, flings it onto a serving dish behind his back with his eyes closed, freakishly spoons any remaining liquid around on the plate and, by some wild Freudian slip, garnishes it with chopped, God knows how, Italian parsley and a nasturtium. 1955