Tuesday, 6-12-07

DRY SUMP, WA - The feared divisive battle over the teaching of creationism versus evolution in local public schools failed to materialize, to the relief of nearly everyone involved, after proponents on one side of the battle suddenly ceded the argument.

“Yeah, we realized how foolish we were,” said Margaret Tompkins, the leader of Dry Sump Parents for Common Sense. “I mean, homo sapiens evolving from slightly more primitive hominids? Sure, at first it sounds almost plausible. But then it was pointed out to us that that isn’t how the Bible says it went down. So, what could we do? We really didn’t have a leg to stand on at that point.”

Following the settlement, the Dry Sump Independent School District placed an order for 1000 copies of the New Testament, to replace the existing biology textbook in the district’s high schools. 

As a lifetime member of SLAH (Slightly Less Advanced Hominids), we applaud the brave homos of Dry Sump for their courage and wisdom. We have long sought equal protection under the “Go(o)d Book” . Until our place just beneath “the Just Heirs with Rights to the Kingdom” (JHeRK’s) is established, we will cannot attain status as truly “meek” and thereby usurp the humans and inherit the earth.

"As a lifetime member of SLAH (Slightly Less Advanced Hominids)...

THAT explains the heavy brow ridges.

Your point, flat-brow-boy?

Why, it’s on the top of my head, of course.